Are long distance relationships ever worth it?

I have never been in one, let’s get that out there before I even start. This, I guess already demonstrates my answer to that opening question, but I have recently acquired an acquaintance who is in a long distance, or more accurately, an internet relationship and it’s made me question, are they ever really worth the time and effort? And perhaps more importantly, are they even really a relationship?

“What is the definition of a ‘real’ relationship?” Other than the dictionary definition the answer will differ with every person. To me however, a relationship is actually getting to see that special person, to have them hold you, comfort you, kiss you and make love to you, none of which are achieved in a long distance relationship, or at least not very often.

The afore mentioned acquaintances ‘relationship’ consists of them speaking online, to my knowledge they have never even spoken on the phone, never heard eachothers voices. Would you consider this a ‘relationship’? The only change in their situation is their status of no longer being recognized as ‘single’ and therefore not being able to date other people. From here stems my problem, how would you even know if they were? And yes the word trust can be thrown around here but can you really trust someone you met, and have only ever ‘met’ online? Trust is built from actions but the only action ever seen in this particular relationship is the arrival of a message. Also, in this particular relationship said acquantiance has come to understand that the partner has been dating other people. Point made.

I do realise that this is just one case but I have witnessed others. A friend who has been in a long distance relationship for over three years, who has actually met and stayed with their partner for weeks at a time, two to three times a year and yet has still dated other people without the partners knowledge. This case is further complicated by the admission by said person of; “We could never marry, we have different religions and neither of us would move to either country” so then why would you waste not only money, but time and energy.

I will answer this question now, not with fact but with opinion; long distance relationships do not work or rather would not work for me.

 

PS, I did warn you about my ranting.

PPS, This didn’t stem from the dark recesses of my mind, I was asked for advice on the subject. I don’t know why people come to me for relationship advice, I’m that friend.

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5 comments
  1. Quick answer: Yes. Only if you are already in an established relationship, a year or more, and there is an end point in sight.

  2. mcbiz101 said:

    I have never been in one,not currently in one and will never be in one

  3. I was in a long distance relationship for 4 yrs n nw m happily married with him since 3 years..problems do arise but both need to be understanding and co operating i suppose. Anyway i believe relationships are made in heaven n if he is meant for u no crisis or avalance can separate u from d othr.

  4. My only qualm with long distance/internet relationships are that the person on the other end, that you have got to know via the internet, is not the same person face-to-face, I mean this in the sense that he could literally physically be someone else, or that his internet persona is different to what he’s like in real life. I have friends who I keep in touch with over the internet/text but face-to-face conversation doesn’t transpire, this is of course magnified in the context of relationships. I guess it just goes down to what’s meant to be is meant to be, if the distance only makes you miss him, then perhaps you are going along the right route. Just a thought!

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